Sunday, October 18, 2015

Oh my gosh, I did it

Yesterday I glanced through to see how many posts my other blog (fastwatersrunshallow) had, and I saw that I started blogging on blogger in 2005, so I took a nosey at some of the posts.  I was such a different person back then.  I was cool.  I was active.  I was who I wish I were now.

And so, inspired by my 34 year old self I actually went swimming today!  First time in over 8 years!  To say I was hesitant is an understatement, and I wasn't even sure if I was going to go, but I did!

I told myself that all I had to do was go to the complex, and if the carpark looked too full I could turn around and come back home and give it a go another day, so no pressure.

I put my suit on at home before I left.  I had butterflies.  I checked myself out in the mirror, I'm such a little barrel!  Hahaha - okay, it's not really funny but I'd rather laugh than cry!  Took a couple of selfies, which freaked me out even more, but hey girl, that's the truth, that's what you look like!  And then I left the comfort of home for the insecurity of a pool I didn't even know the exact location of.

Got to the pool and the car park looked pretty full, but I took a deep breath and went in anyway, and I am so glad I did!  There were 6 swim lanes, and only 8 people.  I was so relieved.  The nice gentleman at reception told me where the changing rooms were (I'm sure I would have figured it out, but I told him it was my first time so he was super nice.  I can't believe I was so nervous I said it was my first time!  Such a dork!)  And into the pool I hopped.

I managed to do 12 lengths, stopping after each length.  I think they were 12.5 metre lengths, which meant I swam a whole 150M ... bah ha ha ha haaaaaa!  But you gotta start somewhere.

My two biggest worries were that my swimsuit was so old it might disintegrate in the pool and I'd end up starkers, or that I was going to get a big cramp and have to be rescued.  Fortunately neither of these things happened, so I left with my dignity intact.  Huge sigh of relief!

I was so proud of myself I ended up texting 4 of my friends!  Like I said, dork!

But I did it!  Yes!  And next time will be so much easier because I know where the pool is, and the layout.  Hip hip hooray!

And TJL is proud of me too  *happy face*

Friday, October 16, 2015

Sugar, sugar everywhere

So when I say 'no sugar', ... have I even said 'no sugar'?  Anyway, when I say 'no sugar' I mean no added sugar, which I have now changed to be 'limit my sugar' to 6 teaspoons a day, as I believe that that is what is recommended - about 25 grams, which is around 0.8oz.  And I'm not including the sugar in fruit in this, as I have no clue as to how to work it out, plus I don't eat a lot of fruit anyway.  I will include the sugar in jams, syrups, and honey, because, well, they are pretty much 100% sugar.

The good thing about this approach is that if I really crave jam on my toast in the morning I can have it, but I just have to be careful for the rest of the day, as I'd only have 3 teaspoons left.  I get into trouble when I have foods that are completely deleted from my life, makes me think 'Screw it.  I may as well eat what I love and enjoy myself!'

Tricky thing is that there is sugar in nearly EVERYTHING, from bread to sauces to the obvious cookies and muesli bars.  But that's ok.  I can work with that.  Luckily I do prefer making meals from scratch, rather than using bottles and jars, Butter Chicken would be my main exception ... I wonder how hard it is to actually make?  But even the other night when we had kebabs, the amount of sugar in sweet chilli sauce, and bbq sauce started to add up!  This was before I came to my 25g allowance and I was trying to go absolutely no sugar.

Time will tell if this approach works.  I'm trying to be sensible here, rather than thinking of certain food types as 'evil', I'd prefer to adapt myself to having them in proper amounts each day.  I'm certainly preferring to go the low carb high fat route if I have to, but I would like to leave some carbs in there.  I know white flour is no, no, no, no, no, no, no ... but I enjoy baking so for now, it stays.  And white bread, but if I have it every other day, rather than breakfast and lunch daily, things might improve.

It's not easy though.  Oh so not easy.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Goal 1

Righty-ho, so my first goal is to get to under 90kgs (198lbs - lbs I hate you, I much prefer our kgs).  No time frame, I just want to see the scales go downwards.

I am currently 93.9kgs (207lbs - again lbs, I hate you).  This is fully clothed at 3pm, because when the doctor weighs you they don't care that your shirt is heavy cotton, and you have jeans on, or what time of day it is, so lets just get really, really, real here!

So I want to lose 4kgs (9lbs).

How - cutting right back on sugar.  No more fizzy drinks.  I usually have a glass of 'soda stream' fizzy each night with dinner.  I live in my own little world where 'home made' fizz is not as bad as 'store bought'.

Yeah right, whatever MJ, you just kid yourself.

Plus I love to bake.  When I was a child, with my super sweet tooth, and a mother who didn't bake, I had to learn to bake to get my sweet fix, and so bake I do.  I'm paring that back to one batch of biscuits on a Sunday, rather than 2 batches, and once they've run out, more batches during the week.

And I am going to TRY and reduce my portion sizes.  No, no, I AM going to reduce my portion sizes.  Not sure how, as yet, as I just eyeball 'em.  I'm really not the kind of person who wants to weigh her food out, as that will just make me quit as I can't be bothered with that kind of rigmarole.  I shall start with a smaller plate, and go from there.

Oh, and snacks.  I completely forgot about snacks, until I just thought about having one now.  I will try nuts, and carrots, and cheese, and crackers maybe.  Just not cake (well I had the last piece of cake today), and so many biscuits.  Which reminds me ...

Righty ho, we will see how I go.
And a reward for losing 4kgs (9lbs) ... hmmmm ... some Nike Pegasus shoes maybe ...


So this is attempt Nine Gabillion Zillion for weightloss.

As of October 15 2015 I'm 44 years of age.  No children.

My history is this.  As a child/teenager I was the skinny one.  Yes, yes I was.  So skinny in fact that kids would take delight in pointing it out to me.  In this day and age it may be seen as bullying, but back then it was just kids being kids.  Sticks and stones, you know.

As a young adult I was fine, no issues, slim even though my diet was not one of the best.  I have always had a very sweet tooth, and a love of fast food.  Yes, I like McDonalds.  Yes, I like KFC.  Yes, yes I do!

In fact I was just fine and dandy up until about 7 years ago, when it all went pear shaped, or perhaps, more accurately, I went pear shaped, or apple shaped perhaps.

So what happened?  A few things.

8 years ago I competed in an event called the 'Coast to Coast', where you cycle, run, and kayak from one side of the South Island of NZ to the other, about 230kms.  I did the 2 day option, and came dead last, but I did it, and I was fit.  Oh so fit, and happy with myself.  Life was good!

The Coast to Coast was a bucket list item.  Once it was done I had no motivation to ever cycle, run or kayak again.  Bear in mind, training for the event involved 3 hour runs, kayaks and/or cycles so I had the mindset you either train for a long time, or not at all.  I chose not at all. 

Which leads me to my metabolism.

I believe that the long, slow training I was doing has caused my body to now burn nutrients long and slow.  Makes sense, right?!  My body learned to take the fuel it was given, and to release it slowly so I could keep going and going.  And I did!  As I said, I came dead last so it was my body that had to to for the longest time out of everyone else who competed.

Then I moved across country to be with TJL.  I worked as a lab technician at a factory where I made the unwise decision to start buying my lunches, and afternoon teas, and breakfasts.  The lunches were huge, added to which was a nice 600mL bottle of coke.  I love coke!  And afternoon tea?  Why a nice, sweet slice of some kind, washed down with the remainder of my 600mL coke, trying to beat the 3pm ZZZzzzzzzzz's, you know?!  And then I discovered that the tanker drivers had a vending machine in their lunch room.  Hello there!  Skor bars!  My favourite!

And on came 23kg's, that's 50lbs folks.  And I am now at a weight I never thought I would be at when I was younger, but I've now been at it so long I no longer view it as a huge problem.  Say what?  My clothes fit!  Well of course they do, they are XXL, and I used to be an S or M.  When I see it like that I'm ashamed.  And I don't want to be ashamed.

But then, I left the lab job, and I have not 'worked' for the last 4 years.  My weight has stayed fairly constant over that time, but I haven't lost any, which is the main issue, although I'm very thankful I haven't gained either.

So why haven't I lost the weight?

I don't know.  I have had the motivation, at times, but it is not sustained motivation, and I may lose a kg or 2, but it just comes back.

This time I hope to keep myself accountable via this blog (I have attempted this before as well), and to set myself small, achievable goals rather than having that big 'I want to weight XXkgs by XX' because when I don't see suitable results fast enough I just toss the whole towel in.  I don't know when it was I became a quitter either!

My first plan is to start reducing my sugar intake and portion size - for me that's tough and tougher!  I love to eat, and I love to eat sweet.  If things go to plan I will look at increasing my exercise, which currently involves 'walking' the dogs daily.  Walking = ambling or strolling along, not anything that involves much exertion, just so you know.  So I do know that I need to increase the intensity, and length of my walks, but I prefer to focus just on the food aspect at this stage.

I'm also working on decluttering our home, via Fly Lady, which in turn declutters my mind, which in turn gives me more energy to focus on myself.  And we all need more energy, right?!

So, yeah, here we go, again!